I cant tell you how much these 2 complete me....lame quote i know but its true.

Many years spent together growing up, trying to kill each other, all the laughs, the inside jokes and much more.

What is it about trashy magazines???

They will forever grab my attention. Cosmo, Glamour, Vogue, People, US Weekly, even Stars. It all depends on who is on the cover and the stupid title. Grabs me every time, and I spend a lot of time in airports.

However, I WILL not pay $11 bucks for People in the Nassau airport, I DO have limits. So I buy all I can get my grubby hands on while in the states. And proceed to read them ALL before our plane leaves (late as usual) and bring them home ;0

So tonight I had to do the unthinkable, I had to throw away 3 people mags and 2 Victoria Secret catalogs, never mind that they were all old and 3+ months out of date.

Normally I would have taken them down to the laundry room of our apt and passed them onto some other soul, which I *loved* when other dwell mates did the same. No matter if the mag was years old,I am a sucker for a magazine.

As I am walking to the 4 barrels that are our ‘complex’ trash bins I had a moment to reflect.
Do you remember your first mag purchase????????

I DO!!!!

I was 11 years old and we took one of our many family trips to Colorado. I sweet talked, read-begged, my mom to buy me a copy of Seventeen. Can’t recall who was on the cover but the title was in a bright turquoise and I read that mag front to back about 6 times while on this trip.
My 11 yo brain was on overdrive, as I was totally out of the loop as to what half the topics were about. But I fell in LOVE! All the pics, the fashion, the articles, the beauty tips (I was not wearing makeup at this time) and I became the authority on ‘older wisdom’ via Seventeen….Katy can attest. ;)

So this love has gone on for 20 years….sometimes I can put one back only because I can peruse the whole mag while waiting to check out. However, due to current living situation, I now have to go 3+ months!! To get my fix.

I used to buy 1 at least once a week, and now go months at a time. Cdub still makes fun of me, hence asking me today, Do you really need all these old things! (um, trashy mags, tyvm) So instead of passing them on to someone else I had to (gasp) throw them away!

You may have wondered where my blogs have been. Well we had to do a major overhaul on the ‘puter and Cdub spent 3 days transferring files from one hard drive to the new one. My ‘puter was so full I only had 10 gigs left open. Thankfully we have 2 new drives and are still working on this almost a week later.

The weather has been poop lately so we have been indoors regardless.

My sense of humor may be way off, but I have to admit I find fart jokes funny, thank you Family Guy!!

A pile of mush

Oy Vey after 8 days of guests I am exhausted who knew entertaining could be so crazy.

I hope to get around to a full account of our week with Cdubs parents and his uncle, but, as title suggests I am a pile of worthlessness.

Short recap, lots of beach time, copious amounts of alcohol, I am kinda embarrassed at the number of liquor bottles. Several late night hot tub sessions, great lunches, pool time cocktails, guys went fishing for a day. And most days I did not get out of bed till 9-ish ;)

Whereas Joan and Cliff, for some ungodly reason would get up BEFORE sunrise (talking 5:30am folks) and walk the beach every day, well when the winds wasn’t blowing you off the beach.

We have a first for us, after 1.5 years on Cat we finally bought our first straw work, a nice size bag with long handles. Cliff gifted us a great platter type bowl. Yeah we are lame and had never purchased any of the amazing indigenous crafts.

So today started at 6am for the group, 7am for me. I can’t tell you the last time I was getting out of bed at that hour, notice I didn’t say awake at that time. Anyblab, I had to dress myself and get in the truck for the excursion to the airport.

We had a 2 hour wait for the plane, of course it was not on time. The winds were blowing again, I had no jacket, and I was unbelievably tired. We finally see the plane come in say our goodbyes and head back to the house. I see the carnage that was left behind.

The bathroom had everyday items left everywhere. I barley recall brushing my teeth. The bed has been left in disarray all day long, with the intention of getting back in for a nap. The kitchen, oh lord the kitchen. Well after a long afternoon of horseshoes at the beach with lots of beer made for a messy cooking at dinner.

Oh, I forgot to mention we made Sky Juice, which is coconut water, cream of coconut and lots of gin. Coconuts gave us trouble so we pulled out the drill, yes, a drill. Only those from TX would have thought to do so. 1 bottle of gin later, we cook stir-fry and made the biggest mess ever. I think we used every glass in the cabinet, 2 large pitchers, enough silverware for an army.

So this afternoon, we lay on the couches and did nothing, for a while. A huge storm blew in with heavy rains, perfect for a movie. We watched KiKi’s delivery service and Phoebe in Wonderland, was an anime colorful type of movie day. Next thing I know it’s freakin 4:30 and I didn’t take my nap.

Tomorrow we have to really clean, do loads of laundry, move our crap back home at our snail pace. We actually go home sometime Monday, but it will take us 2 days to clean and pack after being here 3 weeks.

I miss my bed, and cannot wait to sleep with my blackout curtains, how I have missed you.

So the day finally came a few weeks back. A day I had been avoiding religiously all my life, I went to staunch extremes to avoid this encounter. Which when I lived alone was not all the difficult.

They day I am talking about was January 21, 2010, this was the day I had to touch RAW MEAT!!! Yes I am over 30 years of age, yes I know I am being ridiculous, but this is a MAJOR hang up of mine. I can’t even begin to tell you all the trauma of this ordeal.

It was not just a piece of raw fleshy cold meat it was 8!!!! Different types, thank you Dari Bowman.

I was helping Dari cook for night 2 of the Wahoo Tournament. She is no stranger to cooking for groups over 100 people; the tourney was about 120 or so. Most people know my aversion to raw meat, Dari got firsthand experience last year at the Wahoo tourney as I had to help her run the meat slicer for 8 huge slabs of steak. All I had to do was keep up with her pace of slicing and use tongs to put the freakin, practically raw bloody steak into a serving pan.

There I was holding my breath, trying to keep the waves of nausea from taking over and she is laughing at me, “Girl Just get over it” This has become a wide known fact on Cat that I don’t handle meat that well. At the Cat House, Billy and Dari’s house, there is always TONS of meat around. They have a huge smoker built like a blue marlin. I have not even gotten around to the fish.

So this infamous day, I had to touch/man handle/slice:

Wahoo

Dolphin (not flipper)

Quail

Beef Steak & the fat

Bacon

Sausage

Chicken

Turkey

I am a very picky person when it comes to food/eating. I don’t like to get messy, so to all those out there that enjoy eating chicken wings, crab, lobster all that food you have to tear apart with your fingers, gross! I don’t’ like to then look at my hands and see goo under my finger nails. AND if I am hungry I am not gonna go through the motions of eating said food, when the food reward is very little. All that work for a few bites, give me a bowl of pasta folks.

So this day, I first had to help brine the turkey, 4 large raw whole turkeys that we put into a cooler with juice and spices and such. Ya ever touched a raw turkey, yes I know you prolly have, but the pimply loose skin just skeeves me out like no other, blech.

After this we head to marina to check the smoker which is LOADED with fish from last night. I mean we are talking about 50lbs of smoked fish, so much so, that we had to climb up on the prep table and crawl into the smoker. Some pieces had been smoked with the skin on, so said skin then sticks like glue to racks, which you have to pull off with fingers as the tongs are too long to get the correct leverage.

After this, we have another 60lbs of fish we need to brine, Wahoo and dolphin, fresh catch from the day before. Huge ice bags that were bulging with raw fish. I have NEVER touched raw fish in my life till this moment and it is staring me in the face. Dari, “grab that bag and get started”

The slabs of fish were so big it took both hand s to get them out of the bag, some with skin still on them. I dropped about 2 pieces in the dirt cause I could not wrap my brain around what my hands were doing, touching and the skin is so slimy. As you get to the bottom of the bag you are now above elbow deep dragging your arms out of this mess. Did I mention we had 6 huge bags of fish.

I couldn’t wash my hands fast enough, of course the bathrooms at the marina had no Soap!! Wth? And dinner napkins for hand drying, fail!

Then we head to resort kitchen to prep the side dishes and deal with 6 slabs of beef and 2 slabs of ribs. I can’t recall what they weighed but it was a lot, so much that it took the both of us to carry them from the fridge to sink. They had been so thawed out that blood was everywhere, beef blood. It looked like the scene from Carrie in the kitchen. We had to open all the packages and prep them which means cutting off all the fat to use in the smoker.

Ummm, yeah beef fat and I don’t get along so well, esp when someone starts slinging fat chunks at you!!! I had to go take a breather outside. The stench of raw beef in this incredibly hot kitchen was about to do me in.

While we wait for the smoker to heat up, we have to prep one of the apps. Stuffed quail, oh goody.

Ya ever tried to stuff a quail, it’s very difficult. We had 20 birds and only half had been de-boned. CREEPY!

So I get the job of rolling up small sausage balls to stuff into the birds, um yeah, after 4 balls or so I have this nasty layer of film all over my hands that is turning to glue. We are now in the uber tiny kitchen at the marina with about 7 people in there trying to do all different things.

It took both of us to stuff the damn birds cause the ones with no bones was like trying to stuff a bowling ball into a balloon. One of us had to literally stuff the ball up the butts of the birds….fun huh? And why did I know go fishing again this day, oh right to help Dari cook, smacks head with sausage goo hand.

Then comes the fun part, now we get to wrestle some bacon around these damn birds, and tooth pick em together.

YAY, raw bacon….I am about to come unglued at this point. All I can think about is a shower and not eating the food we have been cooking all day. After touching it there is no way I can eat, I know what it feels like raw!!!

Smoker reaches temp. and I have to stick my hands into a cooler filled with brine and fish (ha) out slabs of wahoo to lie on the racks. I am sticking my hands and arms into a cooler and swimming my hands around to find slabs of raw fish!!! This is like a sick and twisted version of bobbing for apples.

Then up next the 4 turkey, Dari tosses one at me under handed like a football and I *almost* drop it I the dirt, that would have been terrible. After turkey we have the slabs o’ beef. I can see that this day is drawing to a close in the raw meat dept as all food is gona be cooked very soon, thank you god.

But oh wait, no we have a last minute addition of chicken, of goody….thankfully I only have to manhandle one of these things. I had not eaten much that day and the aroma of meat was killing me.

Now people tell me I’m strange and how could I have never touched raw meat. Well, when my sister and I (Hi Katy) live together we only bought these little frozen chicken tenders that we would marinade in the fridge then bake in the oven in foil bags. I would use a FORK! To pick up thawed chicken.

I had another roommate who insisted!!! On buying whole chickens cause it was cheaper, um yeah, a whole day of smelling, watching and listening to her maul a chicken in our kitchen sink was disgusting. And was it really worth it, all that work, when you could just buy the pieces you want separately. Come On! No one wants to hear bones snapping!

So last night Cdub was prepping some chicken for our next week with guests. This is 5 raw chicken breasts on the counter at once. He did a tasty job, based on the wonderful smells in the pan. But having to look at 5 of those while he stuffed them with a cheese pepper mixture while I handed him toothpicks to hold them closed was, well gross. My job was also to wrap them in plastic wrap after stuffing. Ok folks, cold fleshy chicken with toothpicks and plastic wrap is not that far off from actually touching them….he has an unlimited amount of patience with me and all my hang-ups.

If it was not for him we would eat way to much pasta, sandwiches and pizzas.

The last 2 days have been filled with nothing. The wind has been blowing extremely hard, which means no beach walks, no pool time, no hoop time…nothing.

Cdub has been playing lots of Mario….and I have been rereading the Twilight series, finished the 1st book in 2 days and already 25% in New Moon, yes, my kindle is charged and back to life.

I recently started doing yoga again. It’s not as easy as I recall. My body groaned in pain for the 1st four days. I used to be extremely limber, ha back in hs, and my ham strings have been screaming in deep protest.

But I am finally using the mat that Cdub bought me for my bday before we moved to the island. Slacker I know. Today was better, I am getting in the poses much easier than day 1. But I still have a hard time going though the routine in the slow quite manner, I want to race to finish it so I can do something else, like read New Moon ;)

We have been listening to tons of albums on the ipod that have been unlistened to for many months, that’s what happens when you put several gigs on at one time. So instead of the silly, annoying Mario music we are listening to some great stuff.

Now I am not one to complain at the hours of the day, but, damn the days are flying by. One minute it’s 11am the next its 3:30, and cocktail time;) Boat drinks for those in the know! Then I find myself rushing around to make the bed, throw in a load of laundry (!) do the dishes and make myself useful for the day.

Looking forward to Cdubs parents and uncle arriving on Cat this sat. fingers crossed for some sunshine…it’s not normal to wear a hoodie, Cdub actually has on a wool beanie cap right now. Having people here is always more fun than just the 2 of us doing boring everyday crap.

Although I *could* read all day if someone wasn’t poking me asking what I’m reading every few hours and making hissing sounds as if he was or could be Edward, sigh.

Guess that’s it for the past 2 days.

Today started out somewhat normal, ok not really. I slept till 10;20am and woke to Chris talking on the phone to a business partner. Not all that strange accept this convo was part of my dream and I was hearing it, but in a total backwards upside down dreamscape. Very strange not enough ink to divulge into this bizzaro dream but anyblab that’s how my day started.

Next we have tax discussion which=my brain wanting to explode. (which is also funny as I used to work for a family member who is a CPA) after many wasted hours google-ing worthless info. I decide we need a break lets go to beach to walk the dogs.

Bask step in story, I had sorted laundry a few hours before hand and put a load in to wash. As we leave house for beach, I take all wash and throw into dryer and start next load. I removed 2 items from wash to air dry. I put said 2 items onto table in laundry room while tossing remaining stuff into dryer. Go hang 2 items, go to beach.

Beach was great. Dogs ran, dug for crabs, chased a dude that was on beach at far end, ran in water, chased after ever elusive birds, Zoe became MacGyver for a bit scaling cliff walls for said elusive birds.

All is right in the world of Cat Island, OR so I thought.

A quick walk through laundry room and the table where said 2 items were laid out for a *moment* have left ‘wet spots’ on table cloth. No big deal I think, it will dry.

30 mins of hooping by the pool, martini later. I check dryer…..WTF there are stains on my clothes.

OK, so the only (strangely enough, 2! Items) that have stains are the same color! My all time fav shirt. Love one Another, (thank you Horning’s Hideout 2004) which is an amazing bright blue color with maroon letters and a pair of bright blue short pants from VS.

How this happens I HAVE NO CLUE! Said EVIL skirt that created damage is 5!!!! Years old and has been worn and washed more times than I can count! (and this was in cold water none the less)

SO, hours later of stain removal, oxyclean soaks and 4 washes later, my pants which either resemble maroon Dalmatian spots or a very bad tie-dye attempt are somewhat clean. And thankfully my (fav shirt of ALL time) was inside out in the wash so all spots are inside. HOWEVER, the stain removal only now looks like left over blood stain remnants….so I have either been part of a major accident or am just a dirty girl who wears stained clothes.

For those who can’t tell, this KILLS me. I am (was) a master at laundry. In fact, I (used) to pride myself on this fact. I am very particular (anal) about my precious clothing and refuse to let anyone else do my washing. It’s a labor of love. Come on I am the Only one who knows what to dry, line dry, air dry, what needs to be stretched before line dry (cause articles are a bit to snug) Trust me! I am not the only one in this house who is this particular (anal) ahem, Chris.

This is just the start of my damn evening….so after my pissy bit of going ALL the way to my apt (we are house sitting in Port Howe) to get Shout! For stained clothes I come back with a nice frosty cold Sands beer.

Check said damn clothes, restart the wash! Argh you see a cycle here. So I venture to the pool to drink my frosty beer. I (make the mistake of) setting my beer on the arm rest of a pool chair. A nice solid wooden chair.

I call the dogs to me.

PS I sometimes feel like the dog whisperer while at this house. All I have to do is call 1 of 3 dogs by name, squat down and they come running like I am made of pork chops.

So I am reveling in this said doggie moment and Buddy! Gets so excited he starts hopping around and his damn fluffy tail swipes my glorious frosty beer off the chair.

Enter in sounds of glass SMASHING to SMITHERINES on pool deck, FML.

Dogs go inside, I grab a head lamp (which happens to be a hot commodity on this rock, or so I am told) and start crawling! Around on my hand and knees searching for damn glass. Btw, the sky is full of a ginormous cloud cover so I am without full moon light.

Then broom head comes off the stick part, then the handle comes off the snow shovel I am using at a sweep pan. Did I mention fml yet?

So I go back to garage dig around for more cleaning tools, get most cleaned up. After literally crawling around on my hands and knees searching for mysterious damn CLEAR glass oh yeah! it’s not your average brown or green but Clear tyvm!!!

So I am now neck deep in my pity party and heating up leftovers, ya heard right folks leftovers.

Ps Lebron James talk rules this house

So I want to sit in the hot tub, I go to turn on hot tub. I guess in all my (inebriated) lessons I have not fully grasped how to turn on hot tub *correctly* thankfully within 5 mins, C-dub his name for blogs from now on, has brought this to my attention and drags me down to pump to correct my erred ways.

Did I mention fml? I could give ya more backup for the fml but its personal.

So we traipse ourselves down to hot tub, get in….and it’s FREEZING!!!!

C-dub made us go down wayyyyyy to early and tub did not have enough time to warm up, I take showers hotter than this water temp. I wash clothes in hotter temps, not to mention my dog….. I was so cold that every shaved hair on my body did a revolt and shot out 3 feet in defiance. (Shick I keep u in business so shut up).

Thankfully 20+ mins into our (supposedtobelovelyrelaxing) hotub session it actually gets hot, then too hot, as I had gone down and turned up the temp. hangs my head in shame as I created a volcano in hot tub…..but I wanted warm damnit.

So to recap, I still on a multiple daily basis laugh my head off at my dog – if you ever meet her you will see & know why.

I still perceive myself to be a Master at laundry and will let no others tell me differently. (Hangs my head in shame, as I still CAN NOT believe I damaged my OWN clothes, C-dub you are safe for time being)

I will enjoy the remaining low tide beach walks this week, high tide sucks arse folks….walk on this beach then get back to me.

Till tmrw, mwah

There is something about walking the beach with ‘your’ dogs in the full moon….with a headlamp so u don’t walk on sea urchins.

Dogs look CREEPY in light in the dark, esp white dogs when your light flashes on them and they look at you with fire blue devil eyes, more so Zoe than Buddy, but creepy none the less. Thank god for the reflective dog collar Z wears.

The beach is so quite and peaceful, something so different at night vs day. I had on a towel and a hoodie and was wishing for pants.

However, the damn sand was so cold that I would have given my right arm and half finished cocktail for a pair of snow boots, that’s right folks snow boots. Have you ever walked through cold ass sand that is beyond ankle deep and about 50’ degrees and still swollen with the high tide that was 2 hours ago. Trust me your toes would have fallen off 20 feet beyond beach entrance.

We had a great night of Olympic ceremony, hot tub and cocktails. I <3 the hot tub on a ful moon, its so nice.

What is it with dogs loving the water from the hot tub straight out of your hand but not the water bowl, they are retarded I tell ya, who really likes the taste of chlorine = my dog Zoe.

I always compose the BEST blogs while at the beach but by the time I make it back to the house my brain has completely forgotten said post and then I just begin to ramble.

Ok My new favorite show yet to see, The Marriage Ref…..omg this looks fantastic…..celebs giving marriage advice(as if they have a leg to stand on) but it looks hilarious none the less.

Till tmrw. I have committed my poor soul to ‘helping an older lady navigate the internet and organize a photo album for a friend’ all please say a mantra for me as I just might smash my head into a cement wall. Hello Monday.

Ps squirrels are creepy!